I started trying to write short parts of my life that have a lot of meaning to me. I like to romanticize everything, that's why I decided to do this.
I will try to explain a little bit about my life. I am 26 years old, I've lost 100 pounds in bodyweight and I've been battling with anxiety and depression for about 7 years now, on and off medications and various psychologists and psychiatrists. I'm currently diagnosed with social anxiety and depression, taking escitalopram and clonazepam to treat them. Sometimes I think I'm going to get better and some days I feel like I don't want to be here anymore. Sometimes it gets really hard to keep up this fight against myself, and at night when I'm alone I think to myself “maybe this isn't worth it, it shouldn't be this hard”. I try to be normal and fit in society but I think way too much about what other people think about me and how they see me. Real danger doesn't scare me, but I'm terrified of judgment.
One thing i know about myself is that I am way too sensible and care too much about other people that when they don't reciprocate I take it way too hard, I also consider myself extremely romantic in every aspect of life, sometimes I try to find meaning in every single thing that happens and I find myself way too disappointed when I realize that not everything has a deeper meaning, some things just are. I think that is why I am doing this.
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