Featured Trending Thoughts Media Contest October 2024 Contest September 2024 Contest April 2024 Health & Wellness Politics Science Religion Technology Culture Business Finance Sports Art & Illustration Beauty & Fashion News Music Faith & Spirituality Climate & Environment Literature Travel Parenting Philosophy Comics International History Humor Education Miscellaneous thinkspot Contest November 2024
recent image
What is a Female Narcissist?
Right Away
 November 04 2024 at 08:07 pm
more_horiz
post image
The Female Narcissist Certainly, the term narcissist floats in society like a hot air balloon as we seek to compartmentalize behavior. I recently discovered that the personality expresses itself differently depending on sex. Here is a list of observable behaviors that DESCRIBE attributes of a female narcissist. No single attribute can answer the question, "Are you a female narcissist?" but they were close enough to home for me to want to share them and solicit your comments. Your participation is integral to the design of Thinkspot, and that is how it thrives! FM stands for female narcissist. 1) The FM does not have the ability or desire to self-reflect or take any responsibility. She cannot see anything overtly wrong with what she did. She focuses fault in her husband's reaction. The core assumption is that every ailment was caused by the husband because, to her, there was no problem with her behavior until he reacted. At her core, she believes that the husband (not necessarily his behavior) is the problem, and she uniquely holds the role of victim. 2) When an FM begs a man to stop his behavior, she pushes him past his limits to make her point. When he predictably snaps, she acts disgusted (among other things) at his reaction and justifies her victim role. She embellishes the victim role at any future opportunity to reiterate her claims that the husband is the root cause of the problems. 3) When an FM gets her husband to snap, she will use it as emotional fuel to turn colder and meaner in an attempt to make him doubt and hate himself. She will accent the desired outcome by ceasing to touch him or allow for intimacy. She is attempting to get him to subconsciously believe that he is the problem, not his behavior. This one resonated with me. 4) The biggest sign that a man had yoked himself to an FM is the changes that he makes after the breakup. He stays single, doesn’t party, and starts to take care of things he has always wanted to do. He transforms himself to erase parts of the version of himself that he had been coaxed into believing was core to his identity and back into the version of Himself that God sees. I personally have a big AMEN to this one. 5) The FM will go out of her way to appear generous and thoughtful, especially to strangers, neighbors, and peers. It is a very carefully curated image in an attempt to conceal the cruel nature that she put on display in private when she ended the relationship. It is ironic that for many men, the FM created an environment that can trigger suicide, yet they overwhelmingly conclude they did nothing wrong. 6) Nearly 80% of divorces for people over 40 are initiated by women. When these women are asked when they ended their marriages, they often state their primary reason, which is that it is time to start prioritizing themselves instead of the family. Although this point isn’t exclusive to FM, it remains a disturbing trend of placing self ahead of others. 7) The FM is an excellent actor, excelling at pretending that they did nothing wrong in the demise of a relationship, even when confronted with their behavior. Their behavior choices always remain connected to their husband’s previous behavior. She uses selective storytelling to seek affirmation that he was and is the problem. The behavior profiles had more items that described the FM, but I had a personal “Yes, sir!” for these seven. As I take a look at the biblical perspective on the role of a wife, I think it appropriate to start at the beginning. God noted that it was not good for Adam to be alone, and he offered to make him a “helper.” He uses a word for helper that appears 20+ times in the Old Testament that God typically uses to describe himself. Note that he made this claim this long before he made Eve or even before Sin entered into the world. It is a design characteristic of a healthy pairing. God states the obvious when he says that a man needs a helper, yet it breaks my heart to see how far the perception of what that helper looks like has devolved. It is sad. The discovery that an FM has been quantified and researched does provide some explanation, but it doesn’t address the problem. I am open to ideas that don’t extort “toxic masculinity” as a root cause.
4 9
tip thinker
recent image
Could Life Get Any Sadder Than This?
Rick Petteruti
 November 01 2024 at 01:20 am
more_horiz
It’s another cold night. I can’t even remember the night before. The more time passes, I have no new memories and I’m forgetting the old ones even more. But this I remember hanging out with my friends. I couldn’t wait to rush to the pier and fish for the evening’s catch. The fish always came to me at the astonishment of so many. It was the endless blessing that I somehow always had before me. I would make a little money selling the fish to old ladies who would shout down from their balconies. I didn’t realize at the time that I had fed so many. I saved that money and bought a beautiful bike called a Chopper. It had a big wheel in the back and a smaller one in the front. It felt like I had the Lambo of bikes. I felt the breeze of the speed especially going down hill. The excitement was contagious and scared the hell out of me fearing that I would fall down and break my head. But I didn’t care. I found out young what it was to be alive. And I wasn’t gonna give that up. But now I’m back sitting under this bridge. That wind came back but much colder now. But I felt alive again for a moment. I felt like the kid I used to be. But now I sit here an old man and there’s not much to see. Nobody cares when you sit under a bridge. Family is gone. The wife left, the kids grew up or worst they all passed away. All the things life gave you, someone took it all away. All I have left is my dignity and these torn clothes. I stare down at the dirt. It’s my next destination as is for everyone. It isn’t much, everyone steps or spits on it. But it’s my home. And I sit here and stare at it all alone. My thoughts fade away and have no purpose to share. The world has done passed me up and tossed me into a garbage can. Worst, I am the left overs when the dump truck comes to visit. Even the trash man doesn’t want it. I wonder if death would pay me a visit and be my friend. Make me smile once more and give a glimpse of a new memory. That maybe someone gives a shit about this old man that the world couldn’t muster up a care to even throw him away. I have one thing left now, one bit of hope that after I die I would go to Heaven. Maybe he’ll forgive this cynical man the world beat down and give him an embrace. That I may live a real life again, on the pier fishing and forget this one under the bridge and let it fade away..
6 5
tip thinker
recent image
Meaning... my ass
nursingaround
 April 02 2022 at 02:14 am
more_horiz
Everyone is talking about meaning these days, especially since Jordan Peterson hit the scene with his insights and words of wisdom, although such thinking is not new. It's as if western society has been asleep for the last half century as life became easier and people became distracted by pleasure - from the freedom of guiltless sex, drugs, rock n roll - and now the endless distractions of the internet and soon to be Metaverse. Finding meaning is the thing to do these days, although it was Viktor Frankl who became famous for his meaning centered psychotherapy and his book 'Man's search for meaning' which tells of his times in Auschwitz that is arguably one of the most influential books in the world. But only now society is waking up to the fact than meaning matters, and even starting to accept the fact that life is hard and sometimes we grow best through pain. Such words don't help someone while they are suffering, and I'd never tell a patient in the throes of physical or mental pain, about the philosophy of meaning and how they might grow. I not only don't do this because timing is important, but because I've come to the point that while finding temporary meaning in the day to day trials we face is important for others, it's meaningless to me. I get little comfort in day-to-day meaning unless there is an overall, ultimate meaning. Just the other day a 50yr old woman who had never been to hospital apart from having her four children, presented to the ED feeling 'generally unwell' and a bit short of breath. When she lay flat on the bed she turned bluish/grey and couldn't breathe. A CT showed lung cancer with metastasis throughout her body and 12 hours later she was dead. I'm not clever enough to find any meaning in that and it was a good thing I never got to see the family in this case, because life seemed totally meaningless, at least without an ultimate meaning. By ultimate meaning I mean God. Whether you believe in God or not, your attitude towards God arguably affects you more than anything else. If there is no God, and at the end of our allotted time we return to dust, then everything seems meaningless to me. Why by nice if being nice doesn't work for me? Why look out for my neighbor if they're an asshole? Why turn the other cheek if revenge suits me? Why be good and why give a damn about injustice if, at the end of it all, nothing really matters. So when I come across the growing number of podcasts, opinion pieces and headlines that talk about meaning and at the same time see the growing rates of youth suicide and depression, I have concluded that such well intentioned words are not enough. There needs to be an ultimate meaning. Maybe we are programmed to find ultimate meaning, which I believe to be God. Some may find my need for this a weakness, but it seems I'm not alone as almost every day at work I come across another young adult (sometimes not so young) who has lost all hope tried to take their life - or at least make a serious cry for help. So what's my purpose in sharing all this? It's my attempt to make you wake up think about the most important thing in your life, which is to find an ultimate meaning, and in doing so find real hope.
4 3
tip thinker

Trending Topics

Recently Active Rooms

Recently Active Thinkers

open_in_newAll Thinkers

Please confirm your account